Self talk...the best self help...in team/people management. - Practice it.

Self talk..the best self help.

In the previous posts we have learnt about various emotions such as anger, fear, happiness and other such emotions. We have also understood their impact on our behavior that eventually contributes towards our character. The methods and techniques we have learnt in the earlier posts, will help us gain control over our negative thoughts. It also improves the quality of our life as it directly depends on our thoughts and actions. In this article, we will discuss what can we do to improve the quality of communication within ourselves. For further insight into positive communication, please refer to my previous post on : 

Positive communication and a powerful mind ...wonderful tools 

Self Talk is a natural process that develops with us since our childhood and we do not need any external help to attain it. We possess certain instincts that guide us differentiating right from wrong, good from bad and so on. We only need to practice and train ourselves on how and when to listen to our inner voice. These effort go a long way in keeping you motivated, taking responsibility of your life, will also help you live life with an open mind and appreciation. Once trained in self talk, you will experience a significant difference in the quality of your decisions. In fact it will help achieve a meaningful approach towards life. 

Let us first understand, the science involved in a situation that you are faced with; and the subsequent decision making process to counter the situation. 

'Your thoughts play a major role here'. It is through our thoughts that we shape our lives, aim to realize our dreams, implement our decisions and indulge in actions. Thoughts are controlled by various desires, emotions, beliefs, education  and experience. These are the drivers that impact your decision and propel you towards a solution. They influence your actions, decisions, attitude, responses, relationships and behavior. 

In any situation, we indulge in a lot of "Self Talk" knowingly or sub consciously. It is in this phase that we start processing our thoughts. We need to understand the need to possess a strong "guideline or a standardization process" while these thoughts are being processed. You can define your own guidelines. The better guidelines you set and ensure strict adherence to it, the better will be your decisions. Following are some general pointers to have a fair idea of the process:  

• In any situation do only what is right - Never make any exception to this.

• Think positive always - A positive thinker reacts positively to all the events in life.

• There is a limit to criticism - Do not to crush yourselves with self-criticism.

• Always be in good company - Surround yourselves with positive thoughts and company.

• Trust the person that who has made the decision which is "You" - It may be a good decision or a bad decision, but it will always be a right one, better still than being indecisive. 

• Have the courage to face the principle based decisions you have made - To communicate and implement them.

The self talk process will be more fruitful if it is conducted before an event or a situation occurs. After an incident, there are a lot of factors that influence this process, such as anger, fear, ego and defensive mode etc. 

The quality of communication with your own self determines your happiness, once you practice and master the art, it will guide you to adopt happiness as a way of life.

Remember, happiness is an invention of mind. So invent your happiness through positive thinking.  - by Jayaram V

I hope you enjoy reading the post and find it helpful. I request you to share the learning as much as possible so that many more benefit from it. 

Happy Learning! and Happy Sharing!

Thanks a lot! I really appreciate your time reading this post. I would be glad to know your inputs both For or Against. Please feel free to post,share or like if you find it useful.

Fear a never-ending battle...in team/people management. - Conquer it.

Fighting Fear

Fear has been and will continue to be our constant haunting emotion at all different stages through out our life. At an early stage, it could be fear of completing assignments and at a later stage it could be fear of competition, securing good education, choosing a career. Further down the line it could mean fear of losing a job, reputation, fear of change, fear of failure etc. Fear has many forms in different stages of life. 

It is the most dominant emotion of the human mind. In fact, it is so dominant that in worst case scenarios it will threaten a person's mind and convince it to commit suicide, as the only solution to a problem at hand. At that stage, a person cannot reason and foolishly thinks that death is the only solution to that problem. He fails to understand even the simplest fact that death has never been and can never be a solution to any problem in life.  If it were there would be so many people waiting in a line with such solutions (there would be no problems at all, only solutions).

Fear can be explained as a biological and physiological response to threats created by the mind and body. There is no way to completely avoid or win over it, however there are certainly methods to control and deal with our own fear. 

The following posts from renowned Authors, will provide us with a clear understanding of our strongest emotion, how and why fear is formed, what it does to us and most importantly what can we do to control them. 

• Fear and what can you do about it. - by Jayaram V

• What Fear Does to you. - by Chris Green

• Feel the Fear, but do it Anyway. - by Dale Kurow

• Coping with Fear. - by Jayaram V

• Coping with Failure. - by Jayaram V

• Tips for Conquering Fears. - by Cari Vollmer

• How to build Confidence. - by Steve Brunkhorst

A clear understanding of the causes of this strong emotion and learning to deal with goes a long way. The sooner the better. Once we have understood the science of fear and ways to deal with it, we would be very confident and make better decisions concerning career and life. The learning has a wonderful effect both on our personal and professional life. 

Remember - "Once you understand your fears, make a commitment, challenge yourself and conquer your fear, win over it the feeling would be awesome." 

I hope you enjoy reading the posts and that you will find it helpful. I request you to share the learning as much as possible so that many more benefit from it.

Happy Learning! and Happy Sharing!

Thanks a lot! I really appreciate your time reading this post. I would be glad to know your inputs both For or Against. Please feel free to post,share or like if you find it useful.

Dealing with 'Emotional warfare in mind'...in team/people management. - A wonderful self development course.

Understanding and dealing  - Emotions

PS : Even before I start this article, I would like to let my readers know that the majority of the links in my last couple of articles (unlike my previous posts) is sourced from other website/s. However, the intention behind, is sharing valuable learning and best practices with you. My effort through this blog, is to share this learning that has personally benefited me, reach out to many more. This personality development learning will benefit one and all. I am confident that this learning will enrich your knowledge further and benefit you phenomenally - both professionally and personally. I take this opportunity to thank Jayaram V a great Author who has made this personality development essays available to all.


It is very common that we are at a constant warfare with our emotions in our day to day life. The battles I would say are very frequent. They are so frequent that we take them for granted and do not even stop to think about them. Emotions like anger, fear,emotions of lustful thoughts and you name it. Emotions that safe guard us sometimes and emotions that overwhelm us with guilt and shame. Well, that is the reason this post is titled "Emotional warfare in mind". Many people are not comfortable with their emotions. So they try to suppress them, or ignore them or distance themselves from them. But emotions just do not go away, unless you pay them adequate attention and remedy the underlying cause.The articles in this post below, provide a first hand information of how and why 
emotions trigger? and teach us methods to deal with them. 

Emotions are the drama of your life. Life without emotions would be dull and boring like an empty canvass. Emotions are at the heart of both good and bad relationships. They bring people together and also tear them apart. People express opinions about emotions, but know very little about them and much less how to deal with them, live with them and keep them under control. The following posts will provide us with a clear understanding of what emotions are, how they form and most importantly what can we do to control them. 

• Dealing with your Emotions. - by Jayaram V

• How to deal with your emotions effectively. - by Jayaram V

• Understanding and Accepting your Emotions. - by Jayaram V

• How to gain control of your emotions? - by Nicky Vanvalkenburgh

• How to get rid of negative emotions? - by Emmanuel Segui De Carreras

• Using emotions for Change and Growth. - by Sheri Rosenthal

I hope you enjoy reading the posts and find it helpful. I request you to share the learning as much as possible so that many more benefit from it. 

Happy Learning! and Happy Sharing!

Thanks a lot! I really appreciate your time reading this post. I would be glad to know your inputs both For or Against. Please feel free to post,share or like if you find it useful.

Good Leaders are made not born...in team/people management. - Practice to perfection.

Effective Leadership

That's right good leaders are made not born. People can choose to become good leaders. People can learn leadership skills just as any other skill.However, they develop through a never ending process of study, training and experience. In order to motivate a group of people of achieve ambitious targets, there are certain things you must be, know and do. The basis of good leadership is honorable character and trust. 

The definition of leadership from the world respected leader, Dr. Stephen R. Covey's words:

 "Through years of study teaching and working with people all over the world, from all walks of life, I have determined that leadership is : Communicating to people their worth and potential so clearly that they come to see it in themselves. It is the influence we have with others to help them discover their own voice, to find their own purpose, to make their unique contribution, and to release their potential, that truly defines leadership. Thus, leadership extends to the many personal and professional roles we play - as workers, parents,children, teachers, students, swamis, you name it - and the choice we make to live by principles to help others find their voice."

So simply and wonderfully put, yet we get confused so many times thinking that leadership is all about us. 

I would like to share a few more inspiring articles from renowned Authors, on the dynamics of effective leadership that help leaders of today, lead teams in challenging environments towards difficult goals.

• Effective Leadership - by Lakshman Balasubramanyam

• 25 Leadership Maxims - by Brent Filson

• How to build Confidence - by Steve Brunkhorst

• Stephen Covey on Greatness in leadership - by Sharif Khan

• How to become an expert in any field - Jayaram V

ps : I extend my thanks to the above mentioned authors for laying an excellent path for New Age Leadership. I am confident that the above articles are a treasure of knowledge and effective tools in fine tuning leadership skills. I hope you enjoy reading the above posts too. Further, I encourage you to share as much as possible. If you enjoyed reading and learning from it, others too might!

Happy Learning! and Happy Sharing!

Thanks a lot! I really appreciate your time reading this post. I would be glad to know your inputs both For or Against. Please feel free to post,share or like if you find it useful.

Happiness as a key to success...in team/people management. – both personally and professionally.

Happiness as a key to success

I am sure most of you are aware that happiness is synonymous with success. We are happy about our success and we celebrate it. This is a general course of action as we have experienced happiness from an event. It is an expression of happiness on a random occurrence. However, there is another aspect of happiness. Happiness as a state of mind – one that develops as your personality, the way you react and respond to the events and circumstances in your life. The point is if you practice this “state of happiness” always in any relationship or with your team, the result will be phenomenal. The same applies both in your professional and personal life as well. I would like to share with you a wonderful collection of articles related to “state of happiness” by Jayaram V a great author. I am sure the read will provide an insight into the nature and psychology of happiness. Please find below the links to pursue happiness as a key to success.

·         What Makes You Happy?

·         How to Be Happy With Meaning and Purpose.

·         How to Deal With Unpleasant Situations.

·         Finding Happiness In The Simple Pleasures ofLife.

·         A Simple Key to Happiness.

Few remarkable quotes about happiness:

·         If you want to be happy, look at how you make yourself unhappy. – DR. Gail Brenner.

·         Happiness breeds more happiness. – DR. Gail Brenner.

·         Happiness is a word that refers to a state that can’t be defined in words. – DR. Gail Brenner.

·         If you consider happiness is as essential as breathing your each moment would be so much happier.

I hope that you find the above posts and the insights informative and helpful. 

Happy Reading!

Thanks a lot! I really appreciate your time reading this post. I would be glad to know your inputs both For or Against. Please feel free to post,share or like if you find it useful.

The A-Z of Anger Management...in team/people management. - An excellent learning.

Anger Management

Anger is one of the most common and frequent emotions we experience. I am sure you are all aware of the damage that it does - sometimes temporary and mostly permanent. It could mean some small time differences with people around us; or some life changing consequences with our relationships. In any case we need to understand that our anger is our own enemy and it usually does us more harm than we can imagine. 

It is important that we understand the causes for this emotion, its signs, the drivers of it  and finally the techniques and solutions to overcome. I think we will be a a great advantage, should we understand this dangerous trait of ours in depth. 

I stumbled upon a great treasure of collection of essays from various renowned Authors, that I wanted to share with you. Please find below the links to different aspects of anger management.

• Anger Causes and Management
• Anger Signs and Anger Management
• Fear the real cause of Anger
• Myths of Anger Management
• A Technique to Control Anger
• Anger Problems and Solutions
• Positive way to deal with your Anger and Frustration
• Stop Blaming Others
• How to Respond to Anger and Angry People
• Dealing with your emotions
• How to get rid of Negative Emotions
• Emotions and Stock Trading

The reason I call this a 'treasure' is that if we take out time and read at least few of the essays and put efforts to practice the techniques mentioned, I think we will make a phenomenal contribution to our own personality and spread happiness among our surroundings. Happy Reading!

Thanks a lot! I really appreciate your time reading this post. I would be glad to know your inputs both For or Against. Please feel free to post,share or like if you find it useful.

A tribute to a great Leader – A. P. J. Abdul Kalam - ‘The People’s President’

The People's President

This post is a tribute to a great leader, a visionary who through his works earned a name ‘The People’s President’. Rising from humble beginnings, an Indian scientist and administrator, Abdul Kalam served as the 11th President of India from 2002 until 2007. One amongst the most respected people of the country, Abdul Kalam contributed immensely both as a scientist and as a president. He was honored with great laurels and awards for his work by both the Government of India and other countries. After completing his term as President, Abdul Kalam served as a visiting professor in various esteemed institutes and universities of India.

Through this post, I would like to share few of his thoughts concerning the attributes of a leader. Here are few inspiring quotes from the visionary:

 “It is very easy to defeat someone, but it is very hard to win someone.”

“Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough”.

“Man needs difficulties in life because they are necessary to enjoy the success.”

“If you want to shine like a sun. First burn like a sun.”

“All of us do not have equal talent. But, all of us have an equal opportunity to develop our talents.”

 “Thinking should become your capital asset, no matter whatever ups and downs you come across in your life.”

“Without your involvement you can’t succeed. With your involvement you can’t fail. “

Of the many great words from him, few thoughts that have personally inspired me the most are:

·         You have to dream before your dreams can come true.

·         That a leader should be willing to travel on unexplored paths.

·         A leader should know how to manage success and failure. (When the success came he gave it to the team; and when there was failure he owned the failure)

There is a great meaning and depth to these thoughts, how we relate, apply and practice it in our day to day events define the quality of leadership. In any organization, leaders who explore its potential bring success and cheer to people around them. Organizations that have leaders like this thrive; and a nation that has leaders aligned to these thoughts flourishes.